01 September 2012

Impending Vacation

Jack was bubbling over with excitement this morning. He practically did a little happy dance/trot when he presented me with this statement in the form of a question: "No School today!?" That's right buddy, no school today.

This week was a long one for little Jack. I play in this awesome celtic folk rock band and this week we had a gig, so Jack had a lot more face time with the babysitter than normal. After just 2 days of seeing mama and papa for only about an hour in the morning he was positively giddy when I finally picked him up from school on Wednesday.

Truth be told I missed him too. An awful terrible lot. On Thursday I realized I was going on vacation next week and I ended up laying in bed half the day completely depressed. Who the hell remembers that they are going on vacation for 8 days in a tropical paradise and then lays in bed depressed as a result? I do. We made a mistake. We should have made this a family vacation. What the hell am I going to do with 8 days sans child? Don't answer that.

No one really explains to you what "they grow up so fast" really means, you see. Eight months ago when we were planning this excursion I was not interested at all in dealing with the multitude of sleep and behavioral issues we were dealing with in a tropical paradise. Might as well just stay home if you're still going to be in your own private hell anyway. So often in the last three years I have opted to just stay home: might as well be in the comfort of your own home if everything else is going to be uncomfortable.

What I couldn't predict 8 months ago was the level of lucidity and flexibility Jack would have today. No, I'm not going to go too far down that road - today alone held 3 mini meltdowns and a whole lot of asserting the ole independence issues. Today was kind of exhausting. In fact, maybe I'm on the wrong track here entirely. It's not that Jack is more mature and would actually be a joy on vacation - the more I think about it, the more I think I'm totally full of shit. He would be a nightmare on vacation and there would be very little rest for anyone. And here's the truth: I'm going to miss my kid, tantrums and all.

My kid should be with me, by my side. Tantrums and all.

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